I recently just went a week without a phone. Well, it wasn’t TECHNICALLY a week (maybe 5 days) and I wasn’t TECHNICALLY without a phone (it just wasn’t working properly). I’m overexaggerating a bit. But when people say technology is going to overcome human beings, that is very true because my iPhone 7 has feelings and the thing turned on me as if it were my best friend and I stole its boyfriend.
It began fritzing around 9 pm last Friday, and by Saturday, not only was I unable to access my email, get on wifi, listen to music, take pictures, etc. but the thing wouldn’t let me iMessage, so you know what that means…GREEN BUBBLES. That entire week the only question running through my head was, “why me?” Had I actually done something so horrible to receive this sort of karmic torture? Did I mention I had just recently got this phone this fall after a boulevard mishap when my other sank to the bottom of my mimosa? Pretty great.
Unfortunately, the wonderful people at the genius bar were booked solid until the following week, which meant a week with green bubbles…
Though this post may make you want to scream and curse our society for how much we rely on technology, you should still read it. You may learn something or relate, you may hate me for being your typical basic bitch, but at least you might get a laugh out of it. Celebrate your Friday by reading about my demise.
You listen to A LOT of CDs. Ok, so when you’re unable to access any networks, that means Bluetooth is out of the question. Background info: I’m the type of person who thrives off DJing in cars, so when I couldn’t listen to my music (I also don’t own an aux cord I suck) while going to and from spin class, I felt incomplete. However, I quickly filled that void by digging out my old CD’s circa sophomore year of high school. Pretty vintage of me, cha? It was actually really fun to listen to my high school career on a soundtrack. It was like a little mini scrapbook for your ears! Songs included “Levels” by Avicii, “Levels in Reverse” (!!!!), and any type of mash-up you could think of ie “Tipsy” vs. “Island in the Sun.” Also, G-Eazy, Hoodie Allen, QC, All American Rejects; you name it I probably have a whole CD devoted to it.
**PS Thanks to my friend Amanda for making all of these bomb playlists. Wouldn’t have gotten through last week without ya.
Your constantly out of the loop. I was excluded from all group messages, so I never knew anything going on. No plans, no daily gossip, no jokes, no memes, no nothing. Kinda upsetting. Scratch that, REALLY upsetting.
on the other hand…
You’re able to concentrate so much better. I’m not a popular person, but on the off chance my friend group message is going going going, there becomes little room for work because once I’m on my phone I might as well check Snapchat, GroupMe, Instagram, VSCO, play a few rounds of Candy Crush, Facebook… did I miss any other social media platforms? It was nice to get to breathe and detox from the realm of social media. How freeing!
No fomo. When you’re not able to access any type of social media where you can see and find out what everyone is doing at every moment of every waking minute of life, you feel a lot better about yourself. That is SO HORRIBLE of me to say, but fomo (fear of missing out) is real, so I loved that I could sit in bed in my big sleep shirts and peacefully watch 13 Reasons Why and not be haunted by the snapchats I saw of skinny people dressed up at a fun dinner.
You really begin to appreciate the blue bubbles. Ie iMessage bubbles. Ie not actual text messages that cost probably $1 a piece. I don’t even wanna know how much my phone bill will be this month. Oh, also the first thing everyone texted me after I reached out to them was “why tf do you have green bubbles????” Eventually, your friends just stop responding because they don’t want to be associated with them either.
You get a break from the spam account ie school email. Don’t get me wrong, I still checked it on my computer frequently, but do you know how nice it feels to not wake up to 12298473924723 SMU Bookstore or PB Teen (don’t ask me why I still get them) emails? It’s a whole new world. *Mental note: unsubscribe from everything. I don’t, in fact, want to know about a club meeting that I’m not involved in, SMU*
I am now the proud owner of a new iPhone 7 Plus with 128 GB of storage (let’s all pray together I don’t use it all) and I’ve never felt more fresh. Will I miss the simplicity that came with owning a phone that didn’t fully work? Probably not. But it’s all about the climb and life’s important experiences and lessons, right folks?
Hope this brought you some sort of emotion, whether it be joy, hate, pity, guilt, etc.